going back in time

This weekend, a friend had a surprise birthday party near NIU where I went to college.  My last year there was filled with Robert.  We made so many memories on that campus, I cannot even begin to put them into words.  It really is a beautiful campus.   I told Munchkin that we would go see a castle and gargoyles.  I brought my camera and I wanted to take some portraits of him there as well.

It was on that very same campus where we spent a first date flying kites, and when the wind took them away from us, Robert ran like the dickens after the dollar store kites to bring them back triumphantly to me.  We used to walk to that field every time he came to visit.  We spent hours upon hours walking and talking the length of then entire campus.  

There is a particular spot by the castle that looks like I choir loft-well I always thought that it did anyway.  Other music majors thought I was nutty.   The first time I took Robert there he saw the loft immediately.  

Later in time he even proposed to me on that campus.   There was a beautiful stone gazebo.  He drove me out to campus under the guise of meeting friends for lunch and took me to our  gazebo.   He got down on one knee and asked me to give him the honor of being his wife.  I began to cry and said yes.  We were immediately chased out of there by some angry wasps who did not appreciate the noise underneath their hive! 

So my thoughts for last weekend were to take Munchkin to campus, take a bunch of portraits, take him to the gazebo and then go to the surprise party.  

We had a blast exploring around the castle.  I showed him where I used to live.  The music building, the science building.  We found the gargoyle to now be headless...there are now Huskies around the campus.  It was a ton of fun. 

When I headed over to the gazebo for more pictures, I found a pile of rocks. 

Literally, the gazebo was a pile of rubble.  There are not words to express the shock to my core.  It was as if someone had pulled the rug from beneath my feet.   I had prepared myself mentally to relive his proposal because I thought it would be neat to have pictures of Munchkin there.  Never in my dreams would I have imagined that this gazebo would have been demolished.  

I know that our story lives on in my heart, however, I really want to be able to share pieces of our story with Munchkin and I am cruelly reminded that life moves forward even if we are not quite ready, it will still barrel ahead at warp speed.   Sometimes our only solace in the fast pace of life, is to stop and cherish the joy that is in front of us.