Thursday, March 30, 2017

Nine Years

9 years ago this morning, my life changed.  It shattered. For several years I could not see the daylight, I saw the world rushing past me and moving on and it hurt and ached and it was painful.   I had lost Robert and I could not see how it was ever going to be ok.  Fast forward to now.  It isn't ok that he died, it will never be ok.  BUT I have found a way to do more than just function, I have found  ways to find joy and gratitude in everyday life.  I have worked hard to let go of the negativity that consumed me after the crash the reminder that horrible things, unexplicable things happen every day and they are tragic and life altering.  That is a lesson that no one wants a reminder of (including me).  so for today--for all of you who knew Robert, I ask you to smile, think of his big kind smile and do something unexpected and kind in his memory.  For me, please do not leave things unsaid--tell the people around you that you love them, that they mean something to you.  One of my most grateful things is that my last words to Robert were "I love you".  Not by choice or chance, but because we said and expressed it to each other daily.  There is comfort for me in that.  This year-he has been gone longer than we were married-I have been an only parent for longer than I was his wife.  I know how much he has missed--our boy is almost TEN--which seems unimaginable when I catch a glimpse of a picture of Robert holding our sweet baby boy. For all of you who are still with me today--friends old and new, thank you for sticking by my side.   For my family--I would not be where I am today without you <3