Thursday, August 30, 2012

Why Grace?

Some of you may be wondering why I picked "choose grace" for my title


1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action:
2. manifestation of favor, especially by a superior: It was only through the dean's grace that I wasn't expelled from school
Elegance or beauty of form...I can choose to survive my circumstances with grace and dignity.  I don't have to let what has happened define me.  I don't have to let it make me bitter and angry, so I CHOOSE GRACE.
Manifestation of Favor...but for the Grace of God I survived the accident.  Not only survived, but walked away without a scratch on me or my son....Now I had a very very strong faith before the accident that has given me a solid foundation to grow in my faith.  I see where God has graced me with blessings in spite of the tragedy that we have endured.  I think that is paramount to our survival. 
I have met women in my life who epitomize grace and even before I was widowed I looked up to those.   I hope that someday someone looks back on me and says "She was so full of grace and strength"    

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Breathe....Just Breathe

Some days require more concentration on others

Remembering to breathe...sounds simple right, but seriously remembering to breathe. 

Everything in life is temporary, that is true for the good and the bad, but if I can just remember to pause and take a deep breath it helps.

It also helps to remember that I have survived the "unsurvivable"....for more than four years I get up every morning, get dressed, care for our son and ensure he thrives, go to work and come home exhausted and do it again.   It has taken a lot of time, but there in that breathing I have learned to look for joy, and learned to be present in the current moment.

Watching a sunset, listening to birds chirp, listening to my son giggle and laugh.  These things wait for no one and it take us being able to be present and pay attention to find the joy.  These simple joys have no knowledge of the past or any tragedy that has befallen our lives--they are there simply to have us be present and enjoy them in their fleeting beauty.

I go to bed everynight alone, and I wake up alone....and somethimes all I can do is remember to breathe....

Tuesday, August 28, 2012


March 30, 2008. 

In an instant life changed forever.

Tragedy struck--

In that instant, the sights, sounds and smells became indelible in my mind.

If someone had told me on March 29th, 2008 that I would be raising our son alone, a widow at the age of 31 years old, I would have laughed.

There was no way in the world that I ever pictured my life without him, and no way that would every be real to me.

Four years later there are days where it still seems like a dream.

I invite you to walk with me, hear my story and hopefully learn  a little along the way.

I am a widow.
I am a mother.
I am a daughter, sister and friend.