The other evening, I took Munchkin to see Despicable Me 2. We love going to the movies together even if I do have a small heart attack every time I go to pay!!!
He is old enough now where I let him pick our seats, and he usually picks the top row center. Not a bad seat.
As the previews played, there was a new preview, one that wasn't there ten days ago when we saw Monsters University.
I don't remember the exact wording, but it had to do with locating your exits and how to leave in an emergency. WOW. My heart stopped. I knew where it came from. All of us grownups know about the shooting at the movie theater in Colorado. The shooting at the Sandy Hook. We know about the random terrible crap and evil that permeates our world today. I am not quite sure WHY I was so shocked. This is not news and really a reminder to look for your emergency exits is a good idea-but for some odd reason it made me feel sick.
Perhaps it was because I know that all too soon, it won't be cool to go to the movies with your mom, he will want to go with his friends. That means, that I will have to let go of his hand and trust him to make good choices long before I am ready to do so. I am quite comforted by the illusion that I can protect him, even if I know deep down that it is ONLY and illusion.
Perhaps it is because I know that life is precarious and precious and changes in a flash. While sometimes those changes are positive, they are not always so. Sometimes those changes are catastrophic and push us into unchartered territory where we can no longer keep our head above water with our some serious support. I. KNOW. THIS. I should not be shocked that other people with cool heads have decided that it is a good idea to get people to look at exit signs. It is a good idea.
So I took a deep breath and reminded myself that bad things don't always happen, that there are good things in the world and maybe just maybe I can help my son hold onto the solace of the good things. I can't erase the tragedy that we have endured, but I can bolster us with the good around us. I can demonstrate to him that we laugh, we play, we act silly, we love and we enjoy life. We do all of that IN SPITE of the evil and tragedy that abounds in this world because that is how I survive.