"Tell you a story, happened long time ago..."
"Little bitty pretty one, I've been watching you grow!"
For a split second I closed my eyes and I could feel him. Feel his cheek on mine, his hand on the small of my back and his other hand entwined in mine. I could feel his breath on my neck as we sang together. I could feel the vibration of the music and see the puppies dancing around our feet. For a brief instant the memory was so vivid it was almost tangible. I could smell him, hear his laugh. I could feel him. Then I opened my eyes and it was gone. In a split second I snapped back to reality. The world is now without Robert.
So here I sit tonight remembering, listening to some of our songs. The songs that were so integral to our marriage, to our life. Songs that will forever be associated with US.
I sit here alone and the tears are barely held back. Just barely. They are hot stinging tears...every so often, one slips silently down my cheek and when Robert isn't here to wipe it away, it hits again and again that he is gone. He is not here to hold me, to put his hand at the base of my neck and use his thumb to wipe my tears. He isn't here to tell me he loves me. I miss the comfort of his love and protection. I miss the fun we used to have.
All I have is my memories, so I will sit with those awhile and know that tomorrow is a new day, and perhaps tomorrow's memory will bring a smile instead of a tear.