The Sleepless Lesson

The other night I had a sleepless night.   They are now few and far between-I am grateful.  It used to be that a night of rest was the rarity!

I digress, those who have insomnia can attest that there is NOTHING good on TV at 3 am.  Perhaps that is by design, but really when you are trying to shut off your brain, some mindless TV goes a long way!     When we lived with mom and dad after the accident, I used to leave the TV on all night.   I couldn't handle the emptiness of my bed and compound that with the silence of my room...well, I had to have some background noise.  So now, when I can't fall asleep I turn on the TV and it usually helps. 


As I was laying there willing myself to sleep I heard a song.  It spoke to me.  

 

"Lift the darkness, Light a fire,

For the silent and the broken hearted"

 

"There's a comfort there's a healing

High above the pain and sorrow

Change is coming, can you feel it?

Calling us to a new tomorrow. "

 

"STAND UP, SUGARLAND"

Wow, just wow.  Those lyrics were exactly what I needed to hear.  I promptly downloaded the song (Shazaam rocks :) ) and fell asleep.

So for the last few days I have been listening to the song.  It is all about using your voice and standing up for those around us.  I have been thinking about what it is that I am supposed to be doing.   What is the lesson that God is trying to show me?  Sometimes He is subtle, sometimes, not so much.  Sometimes, I doubt there is purpose in my writing and sharing of my feelings.  I know that I didn't start publishing until I was widowed for a very long time (relative to a lot of the other blogs out there).  But here is my secret-there were a few widows that I met early on both in person and in their writing that were much farther out.   They shared where they were in their journey with me and it gave me hope.  It showed me that people can be ok and people can be happy and that I too could survive.   Not only survive but thrive in my new life. 

This is not the life that any of us ordered, however, I can tell you that there is peace, there is happiness and takes time.  There are still bad days-but now for me they are few and far between.  The nighmares fade with time and the memories now bring a smile.  Take a deep breath, the storm will clear and eventually you will catch a glimpse of the beautiful blue sky!  Just hang on and keep swimming!

Playing Games

Munchkin is at the age where games are totally his thing.  I cannot tell you the number of hours he and I have spent playing board games and I am very glad that we have moved on to things besides CandyLand!  Recently it has been yahtzee and scrabble as the favorites as well as an I SPY board game that Santa brought him.   He has really gotten the concept not only of taking turns but following the actual rules--which actually makes playing fun!

One Sunday afternoon, two of my brothers came over to visit and pick up a few things.  Munchkin managed to convince them that they needed to play I SPY with us.  Now keep in mind, Munchkin has had the game for the better part of the month and I am positive has pretty much memorized it! The four of us sat down around my dining room table and proceeded to play.  Munckin was quite thrilled that not only could he beat his mommy, but two of his uncles as well! He had it all figured out, even to the point of helping the rest of us slowpokes find our items on the cards.  A few times, the rest of us didn't even get our cards drawn before he was ringing the bell! We had fun and laughter and lemonade...really do you need much more?

This went on literally for the better part of two hours.  It reminded me of how much fun we used to have as kids playing board games.  Seriously, there were five kids growing up and board games were awesome for all of us!  I am grateful that my brothers still enjoy games and are willing to indulge my son in his love of them as well.   I am grateful that I made the decision to move back to where my family is--there is so much that we get to be a part of that we would otherwise miss if we were across the country!