Munchkin only had one Halloween with two parents. I am so blessed that all of the rest of them have been spent with my extended family. We have trick or treated in our childhood neighborhood with my brother and sister in law and their two munchkins. We have fun. We laugh at the kids, we talk about how they are growing. We have dinner, spend time with Nana and Papa and Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. I historically have gone to bed in tears.
This year for the first time, I didn't have a kick in the gut at some point. In past years, there was something that brought me to tears. Something that reminded me harshly that we are DIFFERENT, that I AM ALONE. This year, not at all.
I had a great time. Munchkin had a great time. We saw many friends. Ran in to tons of parents of kids munchkin goes to school with. He saw many friends that he has made in school this year. He was happy and I was happy and content to see him that way. The grown ups chatted and laughed and remembered Halloweens past. Had dinner with my sister and her husband as well. She made cupcakes and provided dessert. The kids trick or treated her block as well. Everyone knows munchkin and he loves his friends on that block.
We had a holiday where we were completely happy. At the end of the evening, snuggling on the couch munchkin told me it was the best Halloween ever! Now, I realize that from the eyes of a five year old, every Halloween will be the best ever, but hearing that from him made my day.
And for that minute, I felt that maybe just maybe, I am making progress. That I am enough, that my family is enough. And for the first time in recent memory on a holiday, I went to bed happy.
I am blessed, and I am grateful.