Twelve years ago this morning, the world as we knew it changed. I was working at the hospital and after reloading a crash cart, I looked up on a TV screen and thought it was very odd that they were showing the movie "Armageddon" in an ER. I completed my rounds and a little while later heard that we were under attack. I was expecting my sister to fly to see us for her birthday the next day and I said a prayer of thanks that she was not in the air when everything happened.
One of our pharmacists had family in Pennsylvania, and she left after not being able to get in contact with them. We were the closes trauma center to IAH and it was eerily quiet to not hear planes in the sky. I called Robert and roused him from his sleep-he had worked the night before. When I got home from work we sat glued to the television watching the news reports as most people did. We held each other, not knowing what would happen next, only knowing that it would be ok because we had each other. I remember seeing images of people jumping from widows in the upper stores of WTC and thinking to myself-what is so bad up there that they would jump to certain death and I cried for them and I cried for their families.
Today, 12 years later, I think of all of the families that have had to go on missing a piece. I think of all of the children that grew up without a parent. I think of all of the soldiers that were deployed and all that gave their lives so that today I have freedom. Think of that. Think of all of the families that lost someone.
Then I think about all the courageous people who stood up and refused to let their loss define them. I think of Taryn from the American Widow Project who works with military widows. I think of the parents that got up everyday and put breakfast on the table and got the kids off to school and kept plugging along even though their spouse was killed in a horrible attack. I think of all of these things.
I wonder when my son will start to ask questions about September 11. Thus far he has not, but one day he will. I wonder how I can explain hatred to a child. How can I explain that there are people that let their lives be so ruled by hatred that they are blinded and they do terrible things. But, today, today, I just remember.