Munchkin turned six last week. I can't believe that time has flown by so quickly, He is an amazing young man and I love being his mommy. Really I do, I wouldn't trade it for anything...I will take all of it, the messiness, illness, challenges...I soak it in. I soak up his sassy mouth and his (my) sarcastic sense of humor. At times when I want to scream, I take a breath and remember everything is a phase....including his vocabulary.
Sometimes though, I can't help remembering the fact that Robert was cheated out of celebrating any of Munchkin's birthdays with us, It makes me ill to remember the fact that Robert never got the opportunity to select one birthday theme, present, streamer or birthday hug. It breaks my heart to know that Munchkin won't have memories of his daddy on his birthday.
This year he wanted a basketball hoop-perfect daddy son activity right???? I know we are lucky and I thank God everyday. A few weeks ago, I alerted my sister and her husband that this was the birthday wish. They are expensive so I asked grandparents to kick in cash and Heather and Tom are covering the vast bulk of the cost and Tom will install it and he will play with him. I know that there are other families who are not nearly as lucky as we are to have people to step up...and my family has stepped up HUGE for us. I really am grateful, really I am. I just wish that they didn't have to.
Showing posts with label laughter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laughter. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Monday, April 1, 2013
The Sleepless Lesson
The other night I had a sleepless night. They are now few and far between-I am grateful. It used to be that a night of rest was the rarity!
I digress, those who have insomnia can attest that there is NOTHING good on TV at 3 am. Perhaps that is by design, but really when you are trying to shut off your brain, some mindless TV goes a long way! When we lived with mom and dad after the accident, I used to leave the TV on all night. I couldn't handle the emptiness of my bed and compound that with the silence of my room...well, I had to have some background noise. So now, when I can't fall asleep I turn on the TV and it usually helps.
As I was laying there willing myself to sleep I heard a song. It spoke to me.
Wow, just wow. Those lyrics were exactly what I needed to hear. I promptly downloaded the song (Shazaam rocks :) ) and fell asleep.
So for the last few days I have been listening to the song. It is all about using your voice and standing up for those around us. I have been thinking about what it is that I am supposed to be doing. What is the lesson that God is trying to show me? Sometimes He is subtle, sometimes, not so much. Sometimes, I doubt there is purpose in my writing and sharing of my feelings. I know that I didn't start publishing until I was widowed for a very long time (relative to a lot of the other blogs out there). But here is my secret-there were a few widows that I met early on both in person and in their writing that were much farther out. They shared where they were in their journey with me and it gave me hope. It showed me that people can be ok and people can be happy and that I too could survive. Not only survive but thrive in my new life.
This is not the life that any of us ordered, however, I can tell you that there is peace, there is happiness and takes time. There are still bad days-but now for me they are few and far between. The nighmares fade with time and the memories now bring a smile. Take a deep breath, the storm will clear and eventually you will catch a glimpse of the beautiful blue sky! Just hang on and keep swimming!
I digress, those who have insomnia can attest that there is NOTHING good on TV at 3 am. Perhaps that is by design, but really when you are trying to shut off your brain, some mindless TV goes a long way! When we lived with mom and dad after the accident, I used to leave the TV on all night. I couldn't handle the emptiness of my bed and compound that with the silence of my room...well, I had to have some background noise. So now, when I can't fall asleep I turn on the TV and it usually helps.
As I was laying there willing myself to sleep I heard a song. It spoke to me.
"Lift the darkness, Light a fire,
For the silent and the broken hearted"
"There's a comfort there's a healing
High above the pain and sorrow
Change is coming, can you feel it?
Calling us to a new tomorrow. "
"STAND UP, SUGARLAND"
Wow, just wow. Those lyrics were exactly what I needed to hear. I promptly downloaded the song (Shazaam rocks :) ) and fell asleep.
So for the last few days I have been listening to the song. It is all about using your voice and standing up for those around us. I have been thinking about what it is that I am supposed to be doing. What is the lesson that God is trying to show me? Sometimes He is subtle, sometimes, not so much. Sometimes, I doubt there is purpose in my writing and sharing of my feelings. I know that I didn't start publishing until I was widowed for a very long time (relative to a lot of the other blogs out there). But here is my secret-there were a few widows that I met early on both in person and in their writing that were much farther out. They shared where they were in their journey with me and it gave me hope. It showed me that people can be ok and people can be happy and that I too could survive. Not only survive but thrive in my new life.
This is not the life that any of us ordered, however, I can tell you that there is peace, there is happiness and takes time. There are still bad days-but now for me they are few and far between. The nighmares fade with time and the memories now bring a smile. Take a deep breath, the storm will clear and eventually you will catch a glimpse of the beautiful blue sky! Just hang on and keep swimming!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Perfect Moment Monday-SNOWBALLS
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Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.On the last Monday of each month we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join.
http://www.blogher.com/frame.php?url=http://LavenderLuz.com
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This month we have had actual snow! Inches of it. Now a little background, I lived in Texas for nearly ten years and I whined and moaned and groaned every winter that I missed snow and seasons!
Therefore, I do not complain of snow. In the past four years, it has become somewhat of a joke in my family because Texas has had more snow than we have had! We even had a record number of days without snow here in Chicago.
Well a week or so ago, we got about 6 inches of snow. We were not going to miss the opportunity to enjoy the cold white stuff. While I was outside shoveling, Munchkin was feeling well enough to come out and help me. Well, his "helping" turned into the two of us playing. I decided it was more fun and far more important to play with him-he will be grown soon enough and not wanting to play with Mommy!
For 20 minutes, it was glorious. I showed him how to make snowballs, and we threw them at each other. Laughing, and running around, Munchkin was all smiles. We then built a mini "sled hill" and he had great fun "sledding" down it.
It was absolutely priceless to be able to just stop and throw snowballs. To listen to his laughter and just generally have fun with Munchkin! When we were cold, we went inside and made some hot cocoa-topped with whipped cream. Sometimes, the best moments are those that just happen. I hope that as Munchkin grows older, he finds joy in the memories that we make together.
Simple Joys
Talking to a friend the other day, he asked me what was new. I said with a big triumphant announcement that I.HAVE.A.SLOP.SINK! He looked at me like I had two heads. It's all about finding joy in the little things I told him.
Munchkin managed to get something red all over a shirt....in the routine cleaning of the never ending laundry pile. I realized something. I have a slop sink. It made me laugh and then smile. For the first time in my grown up life...I have a REAL laundry room.
Now, this may seem strange. Living in Texas, I had become accustomed to doing laundry in a sauna (cough) I mean garage. Yes our washer and dryer were in the GARAGE. That meant that when it was 120 in the shade, I was doing laundry, not in the air conditioning, but in the heat. It also meant that Robert had equal access to the washer and dryer and it was not unusual for them to be covered in tools and car parts, or full of greasy grimy car towels. (for the record, running simple green in hot water will remove the grime). Now, while I fondly remember these facts now, when I had a full load of laundry in my arms, tripped over the ledge to the garage and discovered the aforementioned state of my washing machine-well let's just say I have a very robust vocabulary of four letter words.
Living in an apartment, while I did have a very nice washer and dryer in our unit, well all of those girly things that get line dried...the only place for my drying rack was in our living room. Really, I'm sure my siblings had more views of my undergarments than anyone needs to see or cares to admit. Oh, and soaking clothes stained with preschool masterpieces-the choices were kitchen counter (all four feet of it) bathroom counter (where munchkin could play with it) or a space on the floor.
So yes,I have a slop sink, my messy boy can get as messy as he wants and I have a place to make his clothes presentable. It is the simple things that make me happy.
Monday, January 28, 2013
My Perfect Moment Monday- The Wishbone
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Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.On the last Monday of each month we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join.
http://www.blogher.com/frame.php?url=http://LavenderLuz.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two weeks ago, I roasted a chicken. I saved the wishbone and let it dry.
Breaking the wishbone was one of my favorite childhood memories!!! There were 5 of us so we often had to wait our turn.
As I did the dishes, I noticed that it was sufficiently dried out to be able to break.
I called Munchkin and asked him to come up to the kitchen. He did and I explained that we were going to break the wishbone. That we would kiss each other on the cheek and make our wish. Whomever got the bigger piece in their hand would get their wish granted at some time.
Now, if you have been reading for awhile, you know that I have to temper his expectations!
He was so excited that he was jumping up and down. "Mommy I know my wish, I know my wish!!!"
"Ready?"
"One, Two, Three!"
And we pulled. The wishbone popped apart. When we compared our pieces they were exactly the same size!!! The wishbone had actually broken into three pieces! Our pieces were the same and the top tip broke off and went flying!
We both broke into giggles and laughter. I love seeing my boy smile and laugh. His bright blue eyes open wide and his giggles are contagious.
"Mommy, we both get our wish!!!!!!!!"
Oh buddy, please hold on to the magic of wishes for as long as you can! My wish for you is to enjoy your childhood and keep your sense of wonder and amazement for as long as you can...you deserve it!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Bobby's World
So after moving to our new house, we had a change of TV. I decided to go with comcast instead of directTv for a myriad of reasons.
In this, munchkin now has access to the free on demand shows when he is allowed to watch TV. He has started watching Bobby's World. He thinks it is hilarious.
For those not in the know...the show is about a mischevious five year old named Bobby and all of his adventures on his big wheel with his crazy family. I believe it is from the 80's era-I mean a very young Howie Mandel is the host of the show!
Robert, of Bobby as he was called before the age that he decided he no longer wanted to be called that LOVED that show. He used to tell me of his antics on his big wheel and go cart when he was growing up. How he used to wear out his shoes instead of using the brakes because he couldn't really "drift" if he used the brakes. How he used to use the bushes in the backyard to stop his go cart. He used to tell me that he hoped he had a child that would enjoy the same show and the same antics as him when he was younger.
It is such a mixed bag of emotion for me that munchkin has found this and likes it so much and is literally doing what his daddy wished to do with him. He is a high energy happy little boy who loves playing "tricks" on people and just generally engaging in boy mischeif and humor. It makes my heart swell to see him have so much fun. But at night, when all is quiet and still, my heart knows how much Robert would have loved to be here with us, my heart aches in doing the parenting that we both longed to do for so many years. My heart hurts over the fact that the love of my life, is not by my side to enjoy the tastes of our feisty five year old.
In the light of day, I put a smile on my face and enjoy every minute of his antics complete with giggles and silliness and sloppy hands and kisses. I know that time is short and soon these days will be replaced with the antics of a teenager!
In this, munchkin now has access to the free on demand shows when he is allowed to watch TV. He has started watching Bobby's World. He thinks it is hilarious.
For those not in the know...the show is about a mischevious five year old named Bobby and all of his adventures on his big wheel with his crazy family. I believe it is from the 80's era-I mean a very young Howie Mandel is the host of the show!
Robert, of Bobby as he was called before the age that he decided he no longer wanted to be called that LOVED that show. He used to tell me of his antics on his big wheel and go cart when he was growing up. How he used to wear out his shoes instead of using the brakes because he couldn't really "drift" if he used the brakes. How he used to use the bushes in the backyard to stop his go cart. He used to tell me that he hoped he had a child that would enjoy the same show and the same antics as him when he was younger.
It is such a mixed bag of emotion for me that munchkin has found this and likes it so much and is literally doing what his daddy wished to do with him. He is a high energy happy little boy who loves playing "tricks" on people and just generally engaging in boy mischeif and humor. It makes my heart swell to see him have so much fun. But at night, when all is quiet and still, my heart knows how much Robert would have loved to be here with us, my heart aches in doing the parenting that we both longed to do for so many years. My heart hurts over the fact that the love of my life, is not by my side to enjoy the tastes of our feisty five year old.
In the light of day, I put a smile on my face and enjoy every minute of his antics complete with giggles and silliness and sloppy hands and kisses. I know that time is short and soon these days will be replaced with the antics of a teenager!
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