Sunday, March 10, 2013

Conversations and Memories

Yesterday was a crazy day...Munchkin had a tournament that went all day...he did awesome and cheered on his friends who also did VERY well.  Late in the afternoon, the parents decided we would all go out for some dinner.  The kids all entertained each other.  They are really great friends, and the grown ups sat around talking.  It was nice and simple.

For one of the first times, I did not feel out of place at all.  My widowed-ness didn't burn through my body.  I actually sat back and enjoyed myself.  We swapped stories of wild climbing boys...discussed parenting and laughed that all of our kids do just about the same stuff!

At one point the conversation drifted-the question came up-WHAT is the best year of your life?  Hmmmm....well one couple said the decade they are in now.   A father said his 30's...his kids were here, a little younger and he had more time. 

My answer was most of the year I turned 30.  Munchkin was born a few weeks after my 30th birthday.  The following ten months, although wrought with struggles, were bliss.  We were a family, there was three of us.  Even though Robert had MAJOR back surgery when munchkin was 3 months old, and it was hard.  When I say hard...I mean HARD.  He couldn't take care of himself, and there was no way he could take care of Munchkin either.  He had virtually no mobility in his back brace.  I ended up taking a leave of absence to care for him when he got home.  We spent months together, just the three of us.  We figured it out and it was great.

My sister got married that year and in retrospect, it was the LAST time that my family was all together in one place.   We literally didn't know until the day before whether Robert was going to be able to fly with us-by the Grace of God he was able to go.  We had a fantastic time.

Now, even though there were great things that happened, the year I was 30, I was also widowed.  I watched Robert die in front of my and my life has been forever changed. 

So in the span of less than twelve short months, my son was placed into my arms, and Robert left this earth.

If someone had told me even 2 days before the accident that Robert would die-I would not have changed one thing about how we spent our time.  That was the year that I really learned to be present and to enjoy what was in front of me.  I think that is what set that year apart for me.   The majority of the year was so memorable, because I was busy taking in the joy of being a mother and being a family of three that I decided to let everything else fall away.